Ick

So, I'm finally here.

I already want to leave.

I already know that college life is not for me. I can't handle being alone without a single person I truly know. The city is too loud and too dangerous. I just want to go home and go to massage school or something. Just get a decent job that pays good money - it's all about money, right? I can't handle the debts, I can't handle the alcohol everywhere, I can't handle the people...I'm scared to see how classes are.

So I may be quitting, but I don't care. I know what isn't right for me.

The final day

Today, it's cold, rainy, and gray. And I love it. I cannot wait for fall, especially in the big city.

Which reminds me...I leave tomorrow.

I can't believe it's already here. Everything is packed (basically), yet I feel so... cluttered. I'm sure I'm going to forget something.

I also got my new Mac computer yesterday. Jeremiah covered the money. He paid for the entire thing! I am so relieved, but of course, I'm going to pay him back when I get refund money from financial aid. It's so sleek and beautiful, my Mac. Tee hee.

My new life starts tomorrow. I couldn't be more excited and more afraid.

Countdown

4 days.

I also found my roommate...or she found me. I thought I wouldn't have one, because my original one isn't going to Columbia anymore. I never called the school to see if I had a new one, so I figured it would be forgotten...but it's cool to have a roommate. We can split stuff in the room. Annnd, I won't feel so lonely! Yeeeah. Her name is Adria, and so far, she seems really cool.

Sooo, my room is:
Me,
Adria,
Emily,
and Elizabeth.

Hoooraaayy.

early morning insomnia

So, I wake up at four in the morning with terrible cramps. TMI.

I get up, use the toilet, then decide I can't sleep. So I get up again and head downstairs, pointe shoes in tow, to fix an elastic that was coming undone yesterday during class. I felt so accomplished. I was almost going to go as far as resew my elastics on my slippers, but it's hard to cut thread with a knife as opposed to scissors, which were missing in action, as always. After that was done, I went to bed. A few minutes later, I got up and checked Facebook (I'm pretty much addicted, unfortunately). I didn't want to go to sleep because I love early morning. 5 - 8ish is probably my favorite time of the day. I've never slept in past 9:30, and I'm quite proud of that.

Eventually I did fall asleep, and I ended up missing my pointe class today. Oops. Oh well, extra cashola for me.

Hopefully I'll get to see my good friend, Irene, today. She's probably one of five people I've seen all summer (the other four being my family and Jeremiah). She leaves for UW-Eau Claire Saturday, which is crazy. The numbers are slowly dwindling. She leaves early because she's in the marching band, which is pretty cool. I told her that I'm going to go see her in action, and I hope that I actually can.

Alexa Chung is odd, but I like her.

My house smells like cat food. Ick.

Happy 20.

Yesterday was Jeremiah's birthday. He's officially no longer a teenager. It's pretty crazy to think that he's 20 years old - he still seems like a kid to me, even though I didn't know him before he was 19. I bought him his favorite sandwich from his favorite sandwich shop - Jimmy John's (which were have $1.5o subs in honor of its grand opening in Lake Geneva) - blindfolded him, and then led him to a nice scenic area with a bench overlooking Lake Como. It was such a nice afternoon, and I think he really enjoyed it.

I'm also supposed to be getting him this:






Season 1 of Ghost Adventures of DVD, but it doesn't come out until Tuesday. Shhh.

Today, my mom hosted her first ever "Zumbathon" to raise money for the local animal shelter. It turned out to be pretty successful - we raised $400 for the shelter. She's already planning another Zumba party in October. It was pretty fun and very energetic. People won prizes, I got to lead some songs, a male instructor led a routine to Britney Spears' "Womanizer" - all in all, a good day.

Also, I'm stressing out a bit when it comes to college. I'm supposed to be moving in in two weeks (August 29th), but according to my student account summary, one of my loans from financial aid has disappeared. It was worth around $10,000 for the semester. My semester tuition is $15,000 and I had full coverage. But now, instead of recieving $5,000 back from financial aid, I owe $5,000. I'm desperately hoping that it's a mistake on their end and it will all get figured out. How can a loan for $20,000 a year just magically disappear?

F my life. For now.

100 dollas

Today I got new ballet slippers.

Yummy canvas. Waaay better than leather in my opinion.

Also, I took senior photos today for two people who go to my old high school. (Hah, old high school. I love saying that.) $50 each. $100. I feel so rich, considering I have about 2 cents in my bank account. (just kidding. It's actually $9ish.)

Annnddd, someone asked me to show 10 of my photographs in a gallery opening and include price. I'm very honored to be ask, and that's more money coming in. Life is finally starting to come together for me, and all around college time; the perfect time for a new start. So far, I have one photo framed:

Turned out pretty nicely for my first attempt at framing my own work.

Here's a picture of Jer because I felt like it.

And a photo whose beauty is timeless, especially in the background. (click on it for a better view):

SYTYCD finale.

Congrats, Jeanine! You truly deserve it.

(I was so happy, I screamed and danced around my room. I think I scared Jeremiah.)

She is so gorgeous, and a beautiful dancer. Hooray!

99 might as well be 1 to me.

I had such a nice dream last night. I was with Nigel Lythgoe from SYTYCD (So You Think You Can Dance - the abbreviation is so much easier), and we were in this office, and I was receiving a scholarship for $2,000. Also, I was awarded 99th best dancer in the country out of 100. (I don't mind - I was just glad to be on the list!) Nigel was awarded the 4th best. Later, I went to this fancy ceremony/dinner party in a giant mansion. I was wearing a very elegant orange sleek, long dress, and there were many other dancers there at the party. I got to hang out with them, and we were all laughing and taking photos and having a great time.

I've decided that that's how I need to approach life. I just need to get myself out there and not be afraid of who I am and how I come across to other people. If people like me, great! If not, oh well.

Also, I just realized that the way I started this post, it sounds like my dream was a sex dream with Nigel Lythgoe.



Hey, he's a dancer...at least he's limber.

A lull.

This past Saturday, my town held its annual Festival of Summer in the square. Unfortunately, it felt like anything but summer; it was cold, rainy, and the skies were gray. They had a stage set up for promotion of companies and just cool things to watch and such. My mom recruited the boy and I to help promote zumba at her yoga/fitness studio, which was rocky at first, but then after we got going, the performance went pretty well. Later on, I went back over with my ballet studio to perform a "condensed" condensed version of "Rodeo". It was cool because when it was my turn to do my duet, a patch of sun came out and shone right down on my partner and I. It was also the best performance we did together!

Ahh, how things fall into place.

Now, I have nothing to do with myself until school starts. My ballet intensive is over, my zumba class is over, anndd...I'm already bored. I have no idea what I'm going to do until August 29th.

And now I'm sitting here, biting my nails, trying to think of something to write. Blaaaah.

Hopefully something exciting will happen soon.


Amy OUT.



(eww.)

Deep talks = lullabies

So, I tried to update last night so I wouldn't have another morning post talking about the past, but alas, I fell asleep after having deep talk with the boy.

Yesterday, I had a performance with my ballet school. It was interesting, considering half of the main characters were missing and many of the square dancers too (We were putting on Rodeo), so there was a total of 10 of us performing. Luckily, Jeremiah was drafted to help with lifts, but still, the performance was kind of awkward. At the same time, though, I was glad to see a couple of my friends again and just get to talk and hang out with them before heading out to the glorious future that is Chicago. Katie and Karina - the two other main girls there - are both heading to UW-Milwaukee. Katie is majoring in dance, and Karina isn't quite sure, but she wants to look into religious studies. We had a good chat about that, which was nice.

I also had a dream last night about where I'll be staying this year for college - The University Center. In my dream, it was nothing like it actually is; to use the elevators, I had to press my floor number and then enter in a crazy number combination, otherwise I'd be taken to the wrong floor. Also, on my floor (8th), on the "boys' side", there were guys everywhere running in and out of rooms, and most of them looked like they had just taken a shower. On the "girls' side", the actual room numbers were just numbers to closets, and all the beds were bunk beds set up in the hallway and a square gathering area. A friend of mine from high school, Laura (who is going to UW-Madison), had the top bunk of the bunk bed I called. When I looked outside the window, it seemed that there was some kind of pool attached to our floor. I went out on the deck that was attached to the pool, and it was raining.

I have a feeling it was a stress dream.

Aye yie yie.

I had a dream...

...about this boy:



I helped him sneak away from his job, and we were being chased by his boss and right-hand woman. We went all over the place; rolling hills, a junkyard, a mansion, a shack, even a populated area and a gay high school with cheerleader exotic dancers. It was so romantic and exhilirating.

I need to take some chances in my life.

I think I had this dream probably because I desperately want to see 500 Days of Summer. It gives me warm fuzzies every time I see the trailer. I know it most likely has nothing to do with the plot of my dream, but...come on. Joseph Gordon-Levitt was in my dream. He's in the movie. I think we have a winner.

Also [cheese] the trailer makes me desperately miss my own Joseph.

Jeremiah's gone up north for the week, and this is the longest time we've been away from each other since summer began. I'm going crazy with longing. Not to mention boredom. It's only a week, but it's made me realize something big...

I think for a split moment in my dream, Joseph turned into Jeremiah. I could recognize that hair anywhere.

That boy is something else.





[/cheese]

Post-Orientation

As I sat inside the building located at 1104 S. Wabash St. - or what will be known to me as the 1104 Center for the next four years - I couldn't help but feel intimdated. The vice president of the college who had been working there for 25 years spoke to us with high expectations. He wanted us to become "young creatives", to take a grab at our major and squeeze the life out of it hoping to achieve a miracle. As I sat with hundreds of people, none of which I knew and who hadn't even started attending the school yet, I felt fear towards what I was expected to do. Simultaneously, I felt inspired. I absolutely could not wait to create a masterpiece.

And I still can't.

The school? Columbia College Chicago. A private art school located in the heart of the Loop, where downtown life thrives. It currently has 12,500 students, all with different ideas and goals for themselves. I've loved this city for so long but have always admired it from afar living in south eastern Wisconsin. Suddenly, I'd be living here for four years. I'd be picked out of my small town of 7,000 people and dropped right in the hustle and bustle with millions of people, no one whom I'd see more than once.

The major? Well, so far, I'm not sure. For now I've declared dance as my major, but I also want to look into photography, film, and audio arts and acoustics. I originally planned for photography as my major, but after rediscovering my love for dance these past few years, I wanted an excuse to dance all the time. Besides, I get to take an African dance class first semester. Who gets that opportunity often?

On August 29th, the day I move in, my life will be changed forever.

I can't wait.