Ick

So, I'm finally here.

I already want to leave.

I already know that college life is not for me. I can't handle being alone without a single person I truly know. The city is too loud and too dangerous. I just want to go home and go to massage school or something. Just get a decent job that pays good money - it's all about money, right? I can't handle the debts, I can't handle the alcohol everywhere, I can't handle the people...I'm scared to see how classes are.

So I may be quitting, but I don't care. I know what isn't right for me.

The final day

Today, it's cold, rainy, and gray. And I love it. I cannot wait for fall, especially in the big city.

Which reminds me...I leave tomorrow.

I can't believe it's already here. Everything is packed (basically), yet I feel so... cluttered. I'm sure I'm going to forget something.

I also got my new Mac computer yesterday. Jeremiah covered the money. He paid for the entire thing! I am so relieved, but of course, I'm going to pay him back when I get refund money from financial aid. It's so sleek and beautiful, my Mac. Tee hee.

My new life starts tomorrow. I couldn't be more excited and more afraid.

Countdown

4 days.

I also found my roommate...or she found me. I thought I wouldn't have one, because my original one isn't going to Columbia anymore. I never called the school to see if I had a new one, so I figured it would be forgotten...but it's cool to have a roommate. We can split stuff in the room. Annnd, I won't feel so lonely! Yeeeah. Her name is Adria, and so far, she seems really cool.

Sooo, my room is:
Me,
Adria,
Emily,
and Elizabeth.

Hoooraaayy.

Happy 20.

Yesterday was Jeremiah's birthday. He's officially no longer a teenager. It's pretty crazy to think that he's 20 years old - he still seems like a kid to me, even though I didn't know him before he was 19. I bought him his favorite sandwich from his favorite sandwich shop - Jimmy John's (which were have $1.5o subs in honor of its grand opening in Lake Geneva) - blindfolded him, and then led him to a nice scenic area with a bench overlooking Lake Como. It was such a nice afternoon, and I think he really enjoyed it.

I'm also supposed to be getting him this:






Season 1 of Ghost Adventures of DVD, but it doesn't come out until Tuesday. Shhh.

Today, my mom hosted her first ever "Zumbathon" to raise money for the local animal shelter. It turned out to be pretty successful - we raised $400 for the shelter. She's already planning another Zumba party in October. It was pretty fun and very energetic. People won prizes, I got to lead some songs, a male instructor led a routine to Britney Spears' "Womanizer" - all in all, a good day.

Also, I'm stressing out a bit when it comes to college. I'm supposed to be moving in in two weeks (August 29th), but according to my student account summary, one of my loans from financial aid has disappeared. It was worth around $10,000 for the semester. My semester tuition is $15,000 and I had full coverage. But now, instead of recieving $5,000 back from financial aid, I owe $5,000. I'm desperately hoping that it's a mistake on their end and it will all get figured out. How can a loan for $20,000 a year just magically disappear?

F my life. For now.

Deep talks = lullabies

So, I tried to update last night so I wouldn't have another morning post talking about the past, but alas, I fell asleep after having deep talk with the boy.

Yesterday, I had a performance with my ballet school. It was interesting, considering half of the main characters were missing and many of the square dancers too (We were putting on Rodeo), so there was a total of 10 of us performing. Luckily, Jeremiah was drafted to help with lifts, but still, the performance was kind of awkward. At the same time, though, I was glad to see a couple of my friends again and just get to talk and hang out with them before heading out to the glorious future that is Chicago. Katie and Karina - the two other main girls there - are both heading to UW-Milwaukee. Katie is majoring in dance, and Karina isn't quite sure, but she wants to look into religious studies. We had a good chat about that, which was nice.

I also had a dream last night about where I'll be staying this year for college - The University Center. In my dream, it was nothing like it actually is; to use the elevators, I had to press my floor number and then enter in a crazy number combination, otherwise I'd be taken to the wrong floor. Also, on my floor (8th), on the "boys' side", there were guys everywhere running in and out of rooms, and most of them looked like they had just taken a shower. On the "girls' side", the actual room numbers were just numbers to closets, and all the beds were bunk beds set up in the hallway and a square gathering area. A friend of mine from high school, Laura (who is going to UW-Madison), had the top bunk of the bunk bed I called. When I looked outside the window, it seemed that there was some kind of pool attached to our floor. I went out on the deck that was attached to the pool, and it was raining.

I have a feeling it was a stress dream.

Aye yie yie.

Post-Orientation

As I sat inside the building located at 1104 S. Wabash St. - or what will be known to me as the 1104 Center for the next four years - I couldn't help but feel intimdated. The vice president of the college who had been working there for 25 years spoke to us with high expectations. He wanted us to become "young creatives", to take a grab at our major and squeeze the life out of it hoping to achieve a miracle. As I sat with hundreds of people, none of which I knew and who hadn't even started attending the school yet, I felt fear towards what I was expected to do. Simultaneously, I felt inspired. I absolutely could not wait to create a masterpiece.

And I still can't.

The school? Columbia College Chicago. A private art school located in the heart of the Loop, where downtown life thrives. It currently has 12,500 students, all with different ideas and goals for themselves. I've loved this city for so long but have always admired it from afar living in south eastern Wisconsin. Suddenly, I'd be living here for four years. I'd be picked out of my small town of 7,000 people and dropped right in the hustle and bustle with millions of people, no one whom I'd see more than once.

The major? Well, so far, I'm not sure. For now I've declared dance as my major, but I also want to look into photography, film, and audio arts and acoustics. I originally planned for photography as my major, but after rediscovering my love for dance these past few years, I wanted an excuse to dance all the time. Besides, I get to take an African dance class first semester. Who gets that opportunity often?

On August 29th, the day I move in, my life will be changed forever.

I can't wait.